Guard Your Heart

Proverbs 4:23 tells us “above all else, guard your heart. For out of it flow the issues of life.”

The lens of religion had us preaching that from a perspective of fear.  Watch what you consume.  Be careful what you look at. Beware of what you listen to.  Don’t hang out with the wrong people.  Don’t get bitter. Don’t allow sin in your heart.

God is love, and He doesn’t give us the spirit of fear. If it sounds like fear, its not God.

This isn’t a fear statement.  It’s a love statement.

Hear it again from a loving Father… “Son, daughter, above ALL else, guard your heart.”

God is aware of the constant attack on our hearts, and how deeply impacted we can be by pain that we experience.  From ourselves.  From others.  He was revealing the beauty of a heart protected, and revealing that, for better or worse, our lives would be led by our hearts.

 

He was admonishing us to become fierce protectors of our hearts.  

 

I get to be the safe place for my heart.

I get to be the strongest advocate for my heart.

I get to be the wisest gatekeeper for my heart.

I get to be the kindest voice it hears.

I get to determine what takes root and what doesn’t.

I get to determine which voices get access to it, and which do not.

I get to validate my heart in pain.

I get to gently guide my heart through process and healing.

 

I am the guard.  The landing place.  The source of love and compassion.

 

In the therapy world, it sounds like reparenting.  But Solomon was ahead of the therapy world; the Bible always is. 

Let me share some examples of a common childhood experience that would cause us to detach from the needs of our hearts, and prioritize a million other things instead.

 

STORY #1

You’re in the backseat of the car. Mom and Dad are fighting on the way to church.  They’re angry and Mom is crying.  The car pulls in to the parking spot, and church is about to start.  Mom wipes her tears, the conversation is over, and you walk into the church with plastered fake smiles, and surface greetings laced with performative joy.

 

You believe:  What people believe is true matters more than whats true.  Peoples perspectives matter more than my feelings. 

 

You learn: I need to put a demand on my heart to perform when it comes time to be “on.”

 

STORY #2

It’s Thanksgiving.  You’re around 7 or 8 years old. For some reason you have been feeling a lot of sadness since you woke up.  You’ve been “off.”Your heart is deeply suffering and you don’t understand why.  Nobody has noticed you’re struggling, and you feel alone and scared about it.  You walk into a family members house and all of your extended family is there.  You don’t feel safe to connect.  You avoid eye contact and look for a corner to sit in.  Your Dad calls you over and reprimands you for being “rude.”  He demands that you stop acting like a brat, and go around the room and greet your family members one by one with a hug and a smile.

 

You learn: 

 

I will steamroll my heart for the comfort of others. 

 

My pain is a burden. 

 

How other people feel takes priority over how I feel.

 

Whats natural in us at birth, is to show up authentically, and be true to our hearts.  That’s why kids are not as “socially aware” as adults.  If they’re upset, they cry.  If they feel out of place, they act shy.  If they’re uncomfortable, they seek comfort in a familiar parent or activity. If they feel hyper and silly, they act hyper and silly. We gradually practice out of those things in order to “fit in” as we’re taught to do so.

 

What would it look like if you made a commitment to no longer put a demand on your heart to perform?

 

What if you connected with yourself enough to know what your heart needed when you felt scared, or out of place, or nervous, or weary?

 

What if the things your heart needed became your priority?  Even if it meant you disappointed someone, or didn’t keep an appointment, or didn’t put yourself in an environment you normally would choose.

 

What if you became the guard?  The gentle, kind, compassionate guard of your heart.

 

I once heard someone say… “my heart is every age I’ve ever been.”

 

You’re heart is every age you’ve every been.  It’s still the six year old little girl that was abandoned, and wondered why she wasn’t enough to be chosen.  It’s still the 8 year old that was bullied and rejected and wondered if something was wrong with her.  It’s still the ten year old that believed her emotions made her “dramatic” and she needed to be stoic to be loved.

 

That’s the heart Solomon is referring to.  Will you become it’s protector?  Will you hold it gently, meet it with compassion, and be the one to prioritize it’s needs? Maybe for the first time ever?

 

Just know, as you hold your heart, the comforter will be holding you.

 

Just consider today.  What is one thing you will do, today, to guard your heart?